A Dialogue
by Rutabaga4
Summary: A short story that revolves around two of our Gilmore girls.
1. Chapter 1

A Dialogue

Chapter One

A women walked slowing into a small sitting room, it was lavishly furnished with antiques and sparkling silverware.

On the walls were various works of art intermixed with family portraits and photographs. A vase of fresh white roses stood on a dark mahogany chest of drawers, below was a small collection of antique pill boxes.

The women let her eyes wander, there were so many curious objects to absorb and catalogue. Then she noticed a lamp that seemed strangely out of place, inexplicably tacky with monkeys leering around its base.

She walked up to examine the lamp and suddenly exploded with nervous laughter, it was a piece of her history and it had been missing for more than twenty years.

A young women appeared at the door pushing an old lady in a wheelchair, "Here we are back in your lovely room" said the girl comfortingly.

"Oh sorry, I didn't know we had a visitor" remarked the girl as she helped her companion into a large winged armchair.

"Is it okay if a stay for a while to chat" asked the women. "Sure but don't expect her to reply she hasn't spoken in years, I'm afraid her mind is quite gone. Can I get you anything to drink?" the girl inquired.

"No thank you but please don't let me keep you" the women replied, trying to get the girl to leave them alone, oblivious to her own subtle rudeness.

The girl took the hint and left them alone as the woman slowly sat down on the sofa beside the winged armchair.

She looked up at the old lady momentarily taking in her silver hair and wrinkled skin, then quickly looked down at her shoes. Taking a deep breath she looked up again and smiled uncertainly at the stately woman.

"I doubt you even remember me, but once we were quite close" she began in a quiet timid voice that was not her own.

"I'm sorry I never came to she you sooner, I guess I just tried not to think too much about the past. It's painful for me to remember, I know it's painful for you too."

She took a breath now and thought how strange it was to talk and not have anyone join in with her conversation.

"I came because I needed to put this to rest, I wanted to let you know that I don't blame you for what happened. I blame myself, that's the only person I can truly hold accountable...just me" she said softly.

"I've tried to forgive myself but I can't, selfishly I hoped you would but I know that's impossible now." The woman suddenly dropped to the floor and reached for the elderly woman's hand, "Please say you forgive me, please, please."

The older woman just continued to stare into space seemingly oblivious to her companions entreaty.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The woman gazed at the old lady for a few more seconds then sighed, she drooped her hand and slowly sat back down on the sofa.

"I went back to Stars Hollow just last week, it's strange walking around the town expecting to see someone you know is gone. So many things remind me of her, I can't go to our little blue house yet. I know it stands empty now, Luke brought the place but never lived there. I guess he couldn't bare anyone else to occupy it but it's sad that it has been left to wreak and ruin."

The woman paused for breath here but blindly continued the sound of her voice oddly comforting her.

"You remember Luke, he owned the diner, still does I believe but he's stopped working there. He had a daughter called April, she just turned up one day on his door step and made the announcement. I thank God every night that she found him, Id hate to think what would of happened if she hadn't entered his life. She was his reason, his reason to wake up every morning. I met her a few years ago she has two little girls, I'm so glad Luke got to be a Grandpa."

The woman paused and looked up, sighed and continued, "A lot of people have gone now, Taylor, Miss Patty and Babette she was our neighbour once. Her husband is in a nursing home I heard, Sookie and Jackson are still around. Can you believe little Davey is in his twenties, he's so tall Sookie says she gets a neck ache looking up at him. Martha and Lora are in college, it's strange but when I think about them they'll always be babies to me."

She pulled a picture from her purse and tried to engage the old lady into looking, when she failed she placed the picture on the sofa beside her. A happy family were smiling from the photograph Sookie, Jackson and their three children.

"I went to see her too, I placed some flowers by her grave, it was so quiet there I could only hear bird song. I talked to her for awhile and imagined she was listening."

Here the woman sighed again, briefly gazing out the window at the trees swaying in the breeze.

"I miss her everyday, everyday I talk to her in my head. She never got to see it, everything and nothing and all the things between."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The woman paused as she noticed the elderly lady staring at her, "Grandma, do you remember it's me Rory."

The old lady continued to stare as a single tear slowly fell down her cheek, she smiled at the women but said nothing.

Rory relived that some sort of exchange had taken place smiled back, then continued her ramble.

"When Mom died I lost a part of myself, I couldn't seem to stay still. After graduation I just took off and didn't look back, it was all too painful. Do you remember my graduation, it should have been such a happy day but without her there it didn't seem real. I have a degree from Yale but it's not genuine, it never was because she wasn't there to see it." Rory stopped suddenly and began to cry.

She sobbed desperately, eventually managing to gain control over her emotions and continue with her speech.

"I'm sorry, it happened a long time ago but some things are impossible to get over.

I named my daughter Lorelai for Mom, I thought she'd get a kick out of that. I call her Lori for short and she reminds me of Mom in so many ways. Lori's eyes are blue, much darker than mine and her hair is the colour of a ravens wing."

Rory pulled another photograph from her purse to show her grandmother, "See that's my daughter Lori."

Emily looked intently at the picture and stroked it with her finger, "Lorelai" she repeated over and over until Rory took the picture away.

"Not that Lori is Moms only namesake, Sookie named her second daughter in her memory too. Lora is short for Lorelai and I believe April named her first daughter Victoria in honour of Mom and for Luke." Rory stopped and smiled at the memory.

"It's funny but it's wasn't until I became a parent myself that I truly understood what Mom went through. As hard as I imagined it would be in the reality I ended up wishing it was that easy. I never really got that relationship with Lori that I had with Mom, I was older but I was damaged, I still am."

Rory looked up again as Emily shuffled in her seat, she smiled but it quickly faded as she thought about her daughter.

"I found out last week that Lori's pregnant, she's sixteen years old and she's pregnant.

It's like history repeating itself, she's adamant that she wants to keep the baby but I don't know. You went through it with Mom and you both made mistakes, I want to do everything right but she's so young. I just wish my Mom was here, I've wished that for over twenty years but now right now I have never wanted it more."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Emily reached over and pressed her hand onto Rory's, Rory looked up and smiled.

Her grandmother still seemed to be lost in her own world but something she said had certainly made some kind of impression.

"I love my daughter so much, I just don't want this to ruin the rest of her life" said Rory

"But then maybe it will be the making of her, I know Mom always believed that was true for her. I just hope Lori will manage as well as Mom did, she was amazing. I doubt Lori could say the same about me, I did the best I could but I was always second best in my mind to Mom.

Rory paused then suddenly stood up and walked towards the monkey lamp again, she gently ran her fingers around the base and sighed.

"When I came here I asked you for forgiveness. I only just realised that I have to let go of my feelings of guilt for my own sanity and my families.

I know I wasn't directly responsible for the accident, but why it happened and my anger towards Mom at the time made me feel responsible. The whole incident with the yacht and me leaving to live with you, her driving to your home with all my possessions. If that man had just stopped to think before he got behind the wheel, none of if would ever have happened.

I just wish, I wish, I wish I had never come to Grandpa and swayed him into letting me live with you both. But wishing doesn't solve anything and at the end of the day Mom still died and I lost her much, much too soon."

Rory looked over at Emily as she wiped a tear from her eye. She hated going over the things she had tried so many times to forget.

Rory wasn't even sure why she kept talking, she just needed closure and her grandmother was the only one who was there at the time.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you over the years, when Mom died and later when Grandpa passed away. I was selfish I guess but I was also in pieces for far too many years. Well I guess I should go now, it's getting late and Lori is at home waiting for me. I could bring her with me the next time I come to visit, she needs to know her great grandmother."

Rory bent down and kissed the old lady on the cheek, it was then that she noticed a dampness to her face.

Emily Gilmore had been crying too, she had listened to Rory's words and something had reached her empty mind.

As Rory wiped away her grandmothers tears, Emily suddenly reached out and grabbed a hold of her wrist.

Startled Rory gasped as she tried to pull away, but the old lady found strength she didn't know she had.

She pulled Rory down towards her face and smiled so painfully at Rory that the younger woman couldn't hold back her own soft sob.

"Lorelai, my own precious Lorelai" Emily repeated as she stroked Rory's hair way from her face.

"Forgive me" she asked sadly as more tears escaped from her eyes.

Rory was silent as she looked at her Grandma, she was so shocked that words deserted her.

"Forgive me Lorelai, I'm sorry for taking Rory away. I've missed you so much sweetheart."

Rory finally snapped out of her daze at Emily's words and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. She cupped her other hand to her grandmothers face and solemnly looked into her eyes.

"There's nothing to forgive" Rory said sadly.

"Please Lorelai forgive" Emily asked desperately.

"Okay I forgive you, I forgive you" said Rory as tears streamed down her face.

Emily smiled, a true smile that touched her eyes and reached over to wipe away Rory's tears.

"I love you" Emily repeated, holding tight to Rory's hand.

"I love you too, Mom" said Rory in a broken whisper.

Emily smiled again as she slowly released her grip on her granddaughters hand. Rory sat beside her for a while smiling and occasionally stroking her hair. Eventually she remembered the time and hasted to leave the room.

Emily was still smiling as she stared vaguely at the window, "I have to go now" Rory said. She stood up and kissed Emily goodbye and Emily appeared oblivious once again.

"I'll come back soon" she said as she waved goodbye, but Emily failed to respond.

The last glimpse she had of her grandmother was of the old lady smiling happily to herself.

As Rory drove home that night she pondered on the events that had happened at the nursing home.

She had mistakenly asked Emily for forgiveness, never realising that it was Emily that really needed absolution.

Rory was glad she had helped her grandmother, no matter how fleeting it would be for her.

Her visit had been a selfish one but now she could see that forgiveness was not something she needed to seek. It was something she needed to give and she did for her Mom.

Rory realised to forgive was not to forget but merely to let go. As she pulled into her driveway she suddenly realised there was someone else she needed to forgive, herself. To move on, to help her daughter and to finally let it all go she needed to forgive herself and eventually she knew she would.


End file.
